Finally, Harry and Meghan got what they deserve: boos!
That smug smile, at long last, has been wiped off Meghan’s face. Actual tears, not her usual crocodile variety, welled up. She was visibly unnerved.
Makes sense. Like all malignant narcissists, Meghan is only capable of feeling sorry for herself. Lest we forget Meghan, the grand duchess, standing among impoverished, starving African children and griping — to a broadcast interviewer! — “Not many people have asked me if I’m OK.”
May I be among the first to ask: So, Meghan, how are you feeling now?
After two years of accusing the British royal family of everything from wishing Meghan would kill herself to being racist toward her unborn baby to being held literal prisoner by royal staffers to accusing Kate Middleton of making Meghan cry — while branding themselves as eco-warrior-humanitarian-mental-health-experts, motto, for real, “Be kind” — these two get their comeuppance.
Turns out the royals know a bit about mental health and manipulators themselves, because they’ve deployed the only tactic that works: the gray rock. It’s like dealing with toddlers having tantrums — you just ignore, ignore, ignore until they tire themselves out.
The royals have played the long game, brilliantly putting the Sussexes in a no-win situation: Decline their invite and look mean, petty and vengeful, slighting the ailing queen on her historic jubilee. Accept and get the coldest of shoulders before an audience of billions.
Get the message now, kids?
How gratifying to see H&M shuffled off to the cheap seats in the second row, across the aisle from Charles and Camilla, William and Kate, none of whom cast a glance their way. How elegantly the BRF has slid in the knife: no official portraits with the queen, no appearance on the balcony, no access to any royals of consequence in public.
The message is as clear as Meghan’s blood diamonds — you know, the ones the Duchess of Woke wore, a gift from MBS after the brutal murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. (Bygones!)
Harry and Meghan are royals now in name only.
Hey, they always said they just wanted to be regular people, right?
H&M weren’t even in attendance at the buffet luncheon after Friday’s service. Will and Kate were, though.
Instead, those two slunk off to Frogmore Cottage, that dump they spent millions in taxpayer funds renovating before fleeing to Montecito.
One can imagine Harry and Meghan frantically doom-scrolling through their media coverage while drowning their sorrows in kale juice and victimhood, plotting how they might commodify this latest injustice.
After all, they’ll need the money. Charles stopped paying the bills over a year ago. Spotify isn’t happy. Neither is Netflix. George Clooney, Oprah — even Gayle won’t take their calls.
Even worse, this jubilee weekend was supposed to give Harry tons of material for his big tell-all memoir. All he’s going home with is a sad view from the second row.